This is a great post, Haylee. Thanks for sharing! For me, time and time again I have heard family and religious leaders say “they’re going down the wrong path” or “they got sucked into the world” about someone who deconstructed and left a specific religion but didn’t necessarily leave God or their faith.
In other instances, when a crime has been committed they have chosen to say “they are covered by the blood” (referring to Gods blood that was shed for sinners). I believe this is to try to somehow “lesson” the impact of religious leaders crimes and remind people that “everyone is forgiven.” It is a tragedy that today in some churches people still revert to “covered by the blood” above law
Yikes. That "covered by the blood" one is chilling. Let's flip it back on them. They are covered by blood...because "they've got blood on their hands" for the crimes they've committed.
And yes! I've heard similar things to that first one. "They're backsliding," or "They're compromising their faith." Things like that. It's an immediate way to discredit the person entirely, instead of being willing to hear what they have to say. Imagine how great it would be if people said instead, "They're curious." or "They're rebuilding their faith."
For people who maintain their sense of religious security with utter devotion to fundamentalist litmus tests, safety is the bath water they perceive. They can’t imagine a life with Jesus that’s nuanced, sometimes ambiguous, and full of scary authenticity. I think they see bath water where we don’t.
But that’s because we left the boat and the other disciples to walk toward Jesus. That requires faith. But they worship certainty, which is at odds with faith.
Most people just want to feel safe. That’s what makes the predation even worse. 😞 Many attendees are vulnerable and looking for certainty. And the perceived safety can feel like faith because it’s a nice feeling.
A thought-stopping phrase that bothers me is "They're only human." when any concern is brought up about leadership. The crazy thing for me is that leadership is so entrenched that it is impossible to remove someone without them committing some kind of "grevious sin" (and even then, they're often defended to the end)
You can have a leader who is not suited for their role at all, but because of their position, and short of a "church split", they can be there for life, essentially mooching off the goodwill of others.
Lay-people are somehow held to a much higher standard for their work.
Oof. Yes. I had a friend tell me someone said this to them today. Followed by, “You just need to have grace.” It feels like a blatant denial of reality. And it works as a thought-stopping technique because you can’t argue with it. Yes, technically they are human. And technically grace is a good thing. It immediately shuts things down and puts the responsibility back on the victim instead of the perpetrator.
* "Let go and let God." (Spiritual bypassing, anyone?)
* "Take it to the cross." (Um, I thought we were past the cross. What about the whole resurrection thing?)
* "It was God's will." (Tell that to the mother whose child has just been run down by a drunk driver. See what happens.)
* Worst ever: When the husband of a friend of mine died, a woman said to her, "You should be celebrating that Frank is dancing with the Lord." (She told her to... well, stick that somewhere.)
Haylee, thank you for making us laugh at absurdity even as we open up to what's true. Basically, you rock.
This is a great post, Haylee. Thanks for sharing! For me, time and time again I have heard family and religious leaders say “they’re going down the wrong path” or “they got sucked into the world” about someone who deconstructed and left a specific religion but didn’t necessarily leave God or their faith.
In other instances, when a crime has been committed they have chosen to say “they are covered by the blood” (referring to Gods blood that was shed for sinners). I believe this is to try to somehow “lesson” the impact of religious leaders crimes and remind people that “everyone is forgiven.” It is a tragedy that today in some churches people still revert to “covered by the blood” above law
Yikes. That "covered by the blood" one is chilling. Let's flip it back on them. They are covered by blood...because "they've got blood on their hands" for the crimes they've committed.
And yes! I've heard similar things to that first one. "They're backsliding," or "They're compromising their faith." Things like that. It's an immediate way to discredit the person entirely, instead of being willing to hear what they have to say. Imagine how great it would be if people said instead, "They're curious." or "They're rebuilding their faith."
For people who maintain their sense of religious security with utter devotion to fundamentalist litmus tests, safety is the bath water they perceive. They can’t imagine a life with Jesus that’s nuanced, sometimes ambiguous, and full of scary authenticity. I think they see bath water where we don’t.
But that’s because we left the boat and the other disciples to walk toward Jesus. That requires faith. But they worship certainty, which is at odds with faith.
Great point! Spoken like a true adventurer.
Most people just want to feel safe. That’s what makes the predation even worse. 😞 Many attendees are vulnerable and looking for certainty. And the perceived safety can feel like faith because it’s a nice feeling.
A thought-stopping phrase that bothers me is "They're only human." when any concern is brought up about leadership. The crazy thing for me is that leadership is so entrenched that it is impossible to remove someone without them committing some kind of "grevious sin" (and even then, they're often defended to the end)
You can have a leader who is not suited for their role at all, but because of their position, and short of a "church split", they can be there for life, essentially mooching off the goodwill of others.
Lay-people are somehow held to a much higher standard for their work.
Oof. Yes. I had a friend tell me someone said this to them today. Followed by, “You just need to have grace.” It feels like a blatant denial of reality. And it works as a thought-stopping technique because you can’t argue with it. Yes, technically they are human. And technically grace is a good thing. It immediately shuts things down and puts the responsibility back on the victim instead of the perpetrator.
Yeah, I have a list:
* "Let go and let God." (Spiritual bypassing, anyone?)
* "Take it to the cross." (Um, I thought we were past the cross. What about the whole resurrection thing?)
* "It was God's will." (Tell that to the mother whose child has just been run down by a drunk driver. See what happens.)
* Worst ever: When the husband of a friend of mine died, a woman said to her, "You should be celebrating that Frank is dancing with the Lord." (She told her to... well, stick that somewhere.)
Haylee, thank you for making us laugh at absurdity even as we open up to what's true. Basically, you rock.